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January 30, 2011 - Sloth challenges Joe


Recap by Fire Eater Wizard; Shane was there, despite the fact that it was snowing out, and Shane is afraid of snow. But apparently he has now conquered that fear. Someone who was supposed to have been there two weeks ago, to help celebrate Randy's Birthday Bash, had finally made it there this night. Sloth, well, we all know how slow sloths are. He arrived just finishing up singing "Happy Birthday To You" to Randy, which he had begun singing two weeks ago. Sloth told Just Joe that he was the original co-host on this program, and that he was the best co-host, and that he was challenging Just Joe for his slot. Sloth and Just Joe competed in several contests to try and determine who would get this title. Sloth actually won the contest of who could be the louder, which was shocking given Just Joe's lungs and his ability to screech. Just Joe and Sloth both failed at reading Show Listings, Sloth, not surprisingly, because he read way too slow, and Just Joe, also not surprisingly, because he read the wrong set. Just Joe said he could be thrown down the stairs better. He was thrown down, and then Sloth said he would pass on that one letting Just Joe have that point. Then Sloth told Just Joe to hurry up and come upstairs, because they were going to have a getting thrown down the stairs contest, and Just Joe could go first. Again, not surprisingly, Just Joe agreed to this. He was thrown down the stairs by Shane, who had also thrown him down the first time, and, again, Sloth declined, saying no one could top that, and conceding the point to Just Joe. Sloth and Just Joe had a death match, with cardboard tubes, baking sheets, and other instruments of destruction. Just Joe won that, because Sloth can not fight well at all, and Just Joe is way more hard core. They competed at Jumping Off The Roof Super Happy Fun Time Show. Just Joe, when he jumped off the roof, burst into flames when he hit the ground. When he ran out into the snow to put it out, he got hit by an ice cream truck. He survived. Sloth just jumped off the roof, and, in what had to be the slowest, gravity defying fall in history, he landed on the ground about two minutes later. Just Joe won Falling Off The Roof Super Happy Fun Time. Azkath told them he would give them a question to answer. He asked them to give the reasons why they would be the better co-host. Neither one of them answered that satisfactorily, Just Joe rambled, not making any of the good points he could have, and Sloth didn't do any better. So Azkath asked them to answer another question. Why did the sun rise two days early in Greenland this year. Sloth said something about how he would time travel there and find out, he had said, earlier in the night, that Sloths could time travel. Just Joe launched into this long, shockingly good, explanation, involving how dinosaurs had not really died, but had evolved to become invisible, so we don't know they are there, and they evolved rays that devolved us, and that shifted the poles, causing them to revert back to themselves, or something like that, my brain isn't fast or good enough to keep up with the entire thing, but King Kupa, the leader of the dinosaurs, is responsible for the whole thing. We'll have to ask Gorgar about this, being a dinosaur, he might be able to shed some further insight on to the matter. Sloth told Just Joe that, if he would just shut up, he would concede that he had won. Just Joe went on talking, but Sloth had had enough, and said he gave up, for now, Just Joe had won, and he was leaving. But he said he would be back another day, better prepared, and would challenge Just Joe again, and this time he would win. Sloth left, very slowly, he's probably just about leaving the driveway as I write this several hours later. So Just Joe won. And here are a couple of results I didn't mention above. Just Joe, as I did say, was more hard core, but Sloth was funnier, doing a funny radio voice, and smarter, although that's not hard, to be smarter than Just Joe, almost everyone would have won that. Just Joe was handsomer, but Sloth was prettier. After Sloth had left, it was like something happened to Just Joe, and he became the exact opposite of Sloth, super fast and hyper, talking a mile a minute, the Anti Sloth, if you will. There were two segments of Movie Time... The last hour was all old school music, which was fun...

Listen to the Show

Dream into Dust "A Dream of Joy in a Sleep of Sorrow / Disconnected"
Amity in Fame "Letters to God"
Phantom Blue "Going Mad"

Malison Rogue "The Pain You Cause"

Reason "Before the Dawn"
Vinder "In My Head"
Battlelore "Iron of Death"
Lava Engine "Ctrl Z"

Static People "The Late Projectionist"

Onslaught "Born for War"
DyNAbyte "Artmix"
Pasadena Napalm Division "Non Ti Amo"
Power Salad "My Cat is Afraid of the Vacuum Cleaner (Me First and the Gimme Gimme's Style)"

Atheist "Live and Live Again"

Flat Tires "Two out of Three"
Shroud of Despondency "Parting of the Ways"
7 Days "We Cry No More"

Cylophonia "Retaliate"

Reism "Sink In Deep (Dark Water)"
Kylesa "Distance Closing In"
Requiem for Oblivion "God Builder"
Unveil the Strength "Self Destruction"

Worm Quartet "R2D2 / Call Me Jennifer and Steal My Stapler"

The Commander-in-Chief "Paranoid"
Crimson Glory "Touch the Sun"
Lou Siffer and the Howling Demons "The Mosher"
Tetrafusion "Last Chance"

Devildriver "Hardened"

Tankard "Rules for Fools"
Kings Destroy "Dusty Mummy"
The One Through Tens "Fighting for a Golden Age"
Gorilla Biscuit "Start Today"
The Bronx Casket Co "I Didn't Love You Anyways"

Bring Me the Horizon "Crucify Me"

Dyonisis "Eve's Song"
Symbol Six "Shadows"
Sodom "Hellfire"

Shadyon "Into the Fire"

Twinspirits "Over and Over Again"
Royal Thunder "Mount of Fire"
Images of Eden "Native to His Land"
Circus of Dead Squirrels "What We Deserve"

22nd Century "Human Race"

Motherboar "Camel Puncher"
Helloween "If a Mountain Could Talk"
She Rides "Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride"
Symbolic "Scarvest"
Moon & Sun "Hunt"
Finally Deceased "Darkened Soul"

Coldspell "Heading for Tomorrow"

Betrayer FTM "No Life Till Fury"
CarpeDuke "Angeldust / Americana"
Death Angel "Truce"
Department of Coreuption "Homeless"

VoiVod "Blower"

Angkor Wat "The Search / Awake!"
Suicidal Tendencies "The Feeling's Back"
Phantom "Turbocharged"
Phantom Blue "Frantic Zone"

Vicious Rumors "Blitz the World"

Paradox "Mystery"
Hades "Diplomatic Immunity"
Hellion "Screams in the Night"