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August 21, 2016 - Surprise No Pants Day!


Present were, EVD, Nathan, Dylan, Tim, Eric, Just Joe, Justin aka Twelve Inch, Randy from The Metallic Onslaught, Sloth, and, Chuck. Chuck arrived, saying that there was something dark and ominous on it's way. And, he was right, because soon, Just Joe, Sloth and, Randy arrived, and, they all seemed to think that it was No Pants  Day. or, maybe, More pants Day, because, Just Joe had on a few pairs of pants, but went to just his underwear, Iron man underwear, at that! There was a lot of disturbing molesting going on. Azkath threatened to quit a couple of times, but didn't get to, because there were too many half naked men blocking his way. Azkath hit Randy really hard, and, Mandy emerged! Mandy was still looking to become a mom, and, once again, she set her sights on Nathan! This Mandy has appalling taste in men. Nathan screamed in horror, and tried desperately to escape, but, other people prevented that. Mandy said she wanted twins now. She had her way with poor Nathan, but, it didn't take very long. However, to Nathan, I'm sure it took an eternity! Nathan was severely traumatized, all he would say was, "Mommy. Mommy.". When Randy was back, he was also very disturbed that Mandy had made another appearance. He had no idea how that had happened. No one was more disturbed than Nathan, who I'm sure will never get over this. Randy said he was leaving, as did Sloth, and, Nathan. Finally, Azkath got Just Joe to put more pants on. Just Joe wanted every day to be No Pants Day, which everyone voiced strong objections to. We spotlighted musically first the year 1987, and then the year 1988. There were, songs, metal and comedy ones, and readings inspired by and about H.P. Lovecraft, as it would have been his Birthday if he were still alive. Azkath told Just Joe about a web site,, which was on a list of web sites no one should ever go to. Which, of course, Just Joe immediately did. However, it kept sounding like, which is what I first thought he said as well, which, as bad as the first way sounds, that's even worse! So everyone had fun looking for that site, it doesn't exist, but, I'm sure it probably will now, someone I'm sure got an idea. 

- Fire Eater Wizard


May 17, 2015 - MORE Pants Day

MORE Pants DayTo make up for the carnage that was No Pants Day Weekend two weeks ago, this was to be a MORE Pants Day Show. Present were, EVD, Just Joe, Nathan, Justin, Mr. Linda, Chuck a host of the program which follows LE, "The Salt Creek Show", and, Sloth. Sloth, however, thought it was No Pants Day Weekend, because you see, Sloths are extremely slow, he probably left his home two weeks ago for that, and was just arriving now, and, if he meant to attend More Pants Day, then he'd probably show up two weeks from now. So he had no pants, and a really big bulge in his boxers. Just Joe was upset he had to wear pants and Sloth didn't, so he also became pantsless. He and Just Joe kept molesting Chuck, rubbing their pants less selves all over him, Sloth wanted to give him a rub down with lotion, and Chuck almost got duct taped to Sloth and Just Joe. This was all too much for Chuck, after all, he hosts an old timy country program, where I'm pretty sure stuff like this doesn't go on. Chuck said he was leaving. Azkath blamed Just Joe for this, and went to give him a beat down, but, in the process, Chuck got knocked out cold, again, something which I'm pretty sure doesn't happen on his program. Azkath blamed Just Joe for that, too. He told Sloth and Just Joe to do something with Chuck, as he was sure he would be really upset when he woke up. He told them to carry him home, put him on his front porch, and make sure they put his hand down his pants, that way, when he woke up, he wouldn't say anything about it, he would be too embarrassed. They took him to his home. However, when they returned with a report, according to Sloth anyways, they did a lot more than just put Chuck's hand down his own pants, they put their hands down his pants, and each others's as well.

Just Joe got really loud, and blew out everyone's headphone's so Azkath hit him repeatedly with a baking sheet, and did that to Sloth, too, because he was also being annoying, they both ended up on the floor for a while.

Just Joe kept putting anything he could find that belonged to Nathan down his pants. Nathan complained that every time he's there, his stuff keeps winding up down someone's pants, first Jeffie's, now Just Joe's, Just Joe put everything he could get his hands on that belonged to Nathan down his pants. Well, Nathan, you should know by now, if you have anything you value, don't bring it to LE, because it is sure to get molested, abused, and/or ruined.


June 15, 2014 - 20th Anniversary Shows - Part 2: Vern, Ian, and Chuck!

Last Exit

This was the second of five very special programs commemorating the fact that this month, June, marks twenty years of "The Last Exit For The Lost", featuring many special guests, voices and bands from the past and present, and reliving all the memories from the past twenty years. Here tonight were, Just Joe, a couple of WVBR personalities, Chuck, from the program that follows LE, "The Salt Creek Show", and, Mark Andbinder, long time WVBR personality, who does a lot of things, The worst Co-host In The World, Dave, who had actually now been here two weeks in a row, which has to be some kind of record, Ian The Yeti, and, to everyone's dismay, Vern, who appeared when Azkath just had to go and play a CD that said, "Never, Never, Ever, Ever Play This CD", it turned out to be Vern's Theme music, and it summoned him. Vern and Just Joe decided to form a band that they called Sound Check. This band featured such great hits as "Check One Check Two", and all the other hits you know from any band doing a sound check, which I guess means that all of those bands ripped off Just Joe and Vern. Sound Check kept forming, disbanding, reforming, changing members, firing members, getting new members, and firing them again all throughout the night. First they broke up when The Yeti arrived, because Just Joe is already in a band with him, The Squirtin' Chubbies, and he left Sound Check to rejoin that. Then he left that to rejoin Sound Check, which now also featured Dave, 'til Vern fired Dave, when it turned out that Dave, unlike the other two, who sing HORRIBLY, actually has talent, he has a nice singing voice, as well as a good death metal growl. Vern got Jealous of all the praise that was being heaped on Dave, so he kicked him out of the band. Then he kicked Just Joe out, because Vern wanted to do everything, vocals, guitar, and drums. So Sound Check was now a one Mopkin band. Azkath played a clip from a Best Of CD, where Vern was actually very funny. Azkath said that, maybe it was good to have Vern around after all. Just then they noticed that Vern looked sick, very sick. Vern told Just Joe that the pressure and fame of the band had just been too much for him, and he had turned to unhealthy substances, which he had now overdosed on. With his last gasping breath, he implored Just Joe to keep Sound Check alive, then he expired. Azkath was pissed with Vern for dying just when, for the first time, after ten years of him, he was finally starting to like him. Just Joe and Ian decided that they must keep Sound Check going, it was Vern's dying wish, after all. But they didn't think that they should keep the name Sound Check, after all they just wouldn't feel right singing all those songs with lyrics consisting of variations on the words Sound Check without Vern. Big de lemma, what should they call themselves? Azkath suggested "The Squirtin' Chubbies"? They thought that was perfect! So now they were back to exactly what they always were, but Sound Check lives on, of course, somewhere. Azkath had a request for The Squirtin' Chubbies, he wanted to hear one of their biggest hits, "There's A Raccoon On My Face", so they sang it, the lyrics are "AAAHHHHH! GET IT OFF!!!!!", which sounds disgusting, but I think refers to the raccoon. Hide And Go Beat was played. Dave hid and Chuck seeked. Now Dave, in addition to his title of Worst Co-host In The World, has recently acquired another title, Master Hider, the two times he had played, no one had been able to find him, however, this time the third time was not the charm, as his streak was broken, Chuck found him, and so got to knock him out by bashing him over the head with a big metal sheet. Lots of clips from Best Of CD's were played, making poor Ian relive some horrible experiences, like getting covered in very pungent ass sweat from both Just Joe, and The In forcer, AKA, Harold. This night, Ian was pretty much unscathed, only getting squeezed a few times, both Chuck and Just Joe got their heads humped by Vern, he was always doing that to people, and he hadn't changed in his absence, but now he is dead, so no more of that. The final hour was, again, a very special Old School Hour, featuring all bands that have been associated with LE these past twenty years, some performing live here, some doing interviews, some being on a lot at certain times, so that they became co-hosts, like Eric, from the band Ire Clad, and R.J., and Rob, from the band Thirteen South, are now. Some bands featured tonight, The Lobster Quadrille, Pandora's ToyBox, Worm Quartet, Sorrow Of Batavia, among many others. Some of the tracks played were performances bands have given live here over the years. And so, thus went the second of our five Anniversary Specials. - Fire Eater Wizard