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June 15, 2014 - 20th Anniversary Shows - Part 2: Vern, Ian, and Chuck!

Last Exit

This was the second of five very special programs commemorating the fact that this month, June, marks twenty years of "The Last Exit For The Lost", featuring many special guests, voices and bands from the past and present, and reliving all the memories from the past twenty years. Here tonight were, Just Joe, a couple of WVBR personalities, Chuck, from the program that follows LE, "The Salt Creek Show", and, Mark Andbinder, long time WVBR personality, who does a lot of things, The worst Co-host In The World, Dave, who had actually now been here two weeks in a row, which has to be some kind of record, Ian The Yeti, and, to everyone's dismay, Vern, who appeared when Azkath just had to go and play a CD that said, "Never, Never, Ever, Ever Play This CD", it turned out to be Vern's Theme music, and it summoned him. Vern and Just Joe decided to form a band that they called Sound Check. This band featured such great hits as "Check One Check Two", and all the other hits you know from any band doing a sound check, which I guess means that all of those bands ripped off Just Joe and Vern. Sound Check kept forming, disbanding, reforming, changing members, firing members, getting new members, and firing them again all throughout the night. First they broke up when The Yeti arrived, because Just Joe is already in a band with him, The Squirtin' Chubbies, and he left Sound Check to rejoin that. Then he left that to rejoin Sound Check, which now also featured Dave, 'til Vern fired Dave, when it turned out that Dave, unlike the other two, who sing HORRIBLY, actually has talent, he has a nice singing voice, as well as a good death metal growl. Vern got Jealous of all the praise that was being heaped on Dave, so he kicked him out of the band. Then he kicked Just Joe out, because Vern wanted to do everything, vocals, guitar, and drums. So Sound Check was now a one Mopkin band. Azkath played a clip from a Best Of CD, where Vern was actually very funny. Azkath said that, maybe it was good to have Vern around after all. Just then they noticed that Vern looked sick, very sick. Vern told Just Joe that the pressure and fame of the band had just been too much for him, and he had turned to unhealthy substances, which he had now overdosed on. With his last gasping breath, he implored Just Joe to keep Sound Check alive, then he expired. Azkath was pissed with Vern for dying just when, for the first time, after ten years of him, he was finally starting to like him. Just Joe and Ian decided that they must keep Sound Check going, it was Vern's dying wish, after all. But they didn't think that they should keep the name Sound Check, after all they just wouldn't feel right singing all those songs with lyrics consisting of variations on the words Sound Check without Vern. Big de lemma, what should they call themselves? Azkath suggested "The Squirtin' Chubbies"? They thought that was perfect! So now they were back to exactly what they always were, but Sound Check lives on, of course, somewhere. Azkath had a request for The Squirtin' Chubbies, he wanted to hear one of their biggest hits, "There's A Raccoon On My Face", so they sang it, the lyrics are "AAAHHHHH! GET IT OFF!!!!!", which sounds disgusting, but I think refers to the raccoon. Hide And Go Beat was played. Dave hid and Chuck seeked. Now Dave, in addition to his title of Worst Co-host In The World, has recently acquired another title, Master Hider, the two times he had played, no one had been able to find him, however, this time the third time was not the charm, as his streak was broken, Chuck found him, and so got to knock him out by bashing him over the head with a big metal sheet. Lots of clips from Best Of CD's were played, making poor Ian relive some horrible experiences, like getting covered in very pungent ass sweat from both Just Joe, and The In forcer, AKA, Harold. This night, Ian was pretty much unscathed, only getting squeezed a few times, both Chuck and Just Joe got their heads humped by Vern, he was always doing that to people, and he hadn't changed in his absence, but now he is dead, so no more of that. The final hour was, again, a very special Old School Hour, featuring all bands that have been associated with LE these past twenty years, some performing live here, some doing interviews, some being on a lot at certain times, so that they became co-hosts, like Eric, from the band Ire Clad, and R.J., and Rob, from the band Thirteen South, are now. Some bands featured tonight, The Lobster Quadrille, Pandora's ToyBox, Worm Quartet, Sorrow Of Batavia, among many others. Some of the tracks played were performances bands have given live here over the years. And so, thus went the second of our five Anniversary Specials. - Fire Eater Wizard