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June 27, 2010 - Sorrow of Batavia

Sorrow of BataviaJason, Justin, and Bryan, who make up three fourths of the band Sorrow Of Batavia, were there for almost the first half of the program. They were interviewed, and lots of their songs were played. They rock. They had the band play each other at Boggle. The winner would get to pick a set of music. The loser would have, um well, a "fate" befall him. Jason won, so he got to pick his set of music, a heavy set. They let the band vote on which of two fates should befall Justin. Should he have a naked Just Joe and Dave give him a lap dance, or, should balloons be put on top of him, and Dave splash him 'til all the balloons were popped. All three members could vote, including Justin. Naked lap dance won out. So Just Joe and Dave stripped down and gave Justin his lap dance. But actually, Justin and Bryan got lap dances, because, though Bryan had the chance to move and avoid it, he didn't. Um, ah, guys, I'm really concerned about you! I'd advise you to seek out some professional help, like, right away, quickly! Dave, who had finally seen fit to actually show up, and then left rather early, was presented with a plaque proclaiming him the worst co-host ever, with a bad picture of him on it. Dave was thrilled to get an award, apparently not minding at all that it was saying that he was the worst, I think that was kinda lost on him. Azkath gave Dave several shots to the head with his own award, knocking him out. When Dave came to, he was told that, if he actually showed up regularly, he could have his own entrance theme music. This made Dave very happy. They gave EVD a present, because they pay attention to him when he talks, and they knew it was something he would truly love... A framed picture of George W. Bush. I'm sure those screams from EVD were screams of joy and delight. They took the picture and rubbed it all over EVD. Again, I'm sure those increasingly louder shrieks from EVD were due to the great pleasure this brought him. Just Joe put the picture in EVD's car, but EVD took it out, obviously not wanting to be away from it for even one second. But somehow he left it behind when he went home, all that joy and giddiness must have gotten to him, he just couldn't think straight. Ria, who hadn't been there in a while showed up around 3:00. There was a segment of Adventures In Listening, and Movie Time. And something Azkath had done off and on throughout the years was sort of re-debuted this night... Anomaly Corner. Throughout the last couple hours of the program, he read actual news stories of strange never explained events from over the years in various locations, a cattle mutilation, a strange yellow glow that hung over upstate New York long ago, and a never understood wave of blackness that occurred in the middle of the day, traveling through different areas, years ago. Are theory is that these could very well have been the work of Shoggoths. Just Joe whimpered every time this theory was put forth...
- Fire Eater Wizard

December 19, 2010 - Zombie Apocalypse Show

CollageThis was our Second Pre-Anniversary Count Down To The End Of The World Show, to mark the world ending in two years, on December 21st, since it might be a wee bit hard to celebrate it after that, at least here, maybe somewhere else, we celebrate it in advance. And, this year, we decided to prepare for it by taking the probably least likely scenario of how it will occur, although, you never know do you, a zombie apocalypse, and training for that, a test run through drill, if you will. EVD, Dave (for once!), Shane, Little Gorgar, Adam, Dustin, from the band Sorrow Of Batavia, Tim, formerly of Century Media, and, before that, of Victory Records, Tim's friend Steve, and BBBIIIIILLLLL!!!!!, who turned out to be Kal, were there. When the program began, Just Joe was not there, again. It was decided that he probably needed rescuing from the zombies, so Dave and Adam were dispatched to do that. They returned with Just Joe, Kal rescued Just Joe from the zombies. Just Joe was not at all happy to find out BBBIIIIILLLLL!!!!! was really Kal, rescue or no. Adam had apparently been bitten by a zombie, he bit Just Joe, and Just Joe became a zombie. Just Joe was dragged away by Adam. Dave and Shane were sent to retrieve him. They did, but Dave was really pissed, saying Just Joe had bitten him, for real, and that he quit. Shane also complained Just Joe had really bitten him, but he threw Just Joe down the stairs. They had Kal show them how he had locked Just Joe in the trunk of his own car a couple weeks back, to keep him from getting to LE, by doing it again now, to punish him because he was actually biting people, getting into this zombie thing a bit too much, this was only supposed to be a rehearsal after all, a mock run through drill. Just Joe was really mad when he was again locked in his trunk for real. Kal got bitten by Adam during all this, became a zombie, bit EVD, and turned him into one as well. The zombies got Tim next. Shane tried to throw Just Joe down the stairs, Just Joe resisted, smacked Shane lightly on the head, knocking him out (Shane has a weak soft spot on top of his head, just like a new born baby, if you hit him there at all, he goes out like a light, I guess that is a defect of being grown from Just Joe's severed hand), but, when he fainted, he knocked Just Joe down the stairs by falling against him, so Just Joe went down the stairs anyways. Adam got thrown down the stairs as well. The Zombies were supposed to drag Dustin outside to turn him into a zombie, but Dustin fought successfully, saying it was too cold to go outside. Dustin was told he was disqualified from The Zombie Apocalypse Show. But then all the other Zombies refused to go outside as well, saying it was just too cold, and, they didn't care if they were dead, they still weren't going out in the cold. What a bunch of wimp wussy zombies!! I guess now we know another way to stop zombies, besides shooting them in the head, apparently if you can get them outside in the winter, you'll be safe that way too. The zombies insisted that, if they were gonna devour people, they were just going to have to have this apocalypse indoors. Now zombies are making demands or they'll go on strike?! What kind of zombies are these?! You just can't get good zombie help anywhere any more! What is this world coming to?! Well, apparently, an end. They tried to zombify Dustin again, but he fought again, successfully, again, for a while, but, eventually they got him, and devoured him. Then he quit, even though he had already been fired. Not at all a team player! Some of the other zombies quit too. Again, these zombies have to be the worst zombies ever! Steve commented on how he didn't think this had been a very good zombie apocalypse, saying there should have been props, blood and such, and making other suggestions. It was pointed out to him that he had been there all night, and he could have made those suggestions then, but didn't. He said he had wanted to critique it after the fact. Zombies Just Joe and Tim were sicked on him and told to devour him, which they did. Just Joe said he had locked Shane in the trunk of his car, his, meaning Just Joe's, not Shane's. No one ever went to let him out, so he spent the rest of the night there, at least, who knows, maybe more, maybe he'd even still be there next week, who knows when Just Joe, or anyone else, will get around to letting him out. But Just Joe turned on his car radio so Shane could hear the rest of LE, and hear them mocking him and laughing at his being trapped in the trunk. There were a few segments of Movie Time throughout the night, with Tim, Little Gorgar, Adam, Steve, and EVD participating in some of them, EVD apparently being really excited that he had actually seen a movie to contribute, because, right at the very beginning of the night, when no one was talking about movies, and it was being explained that it was The Second Pre-Anniversary Count Down To The End Of The World Show Zombie Apocalypse Edition, he blurted out, out of nowhere, "I Saw A Movie". There were a whole lot of songs about zombies, at least until about 4:00, when the Zombie Apocalypse portion of the program ended, as all the zombies had either quit, or, in Dustin's case, been fired, so the last two hours of the night were mostly just The Pre-Anniversary Count Down part, with a couple more zombie songs thrown in. And there was LE style Christmas themed music throughout the night as well. And so thus went our Second Pre-Anniversary Count Down To The End Of The World Show Zombie Apocalypse Edition. It was concluded that the Zombie Apocalypse part hadn't gone all that well, was kinda a failure. Well, what can you really expect with wimp wuss whiny zombies who make demands and put conditions on there being willing to do what zombies do, grab and devour people, eat their brains, and turn them into more zombies. I mean, really, is that so hard?! All you need to be concerned with is doing that if you are any kind of zombie worth his or her salt! You guys really sucked at being zombies! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Well, anyways, Happy Pre-Anniversary Of The End Of The World, everyone! Remember, if you have things you want to get accomplished, or affairs to be gotten in order, or affairs you want to have with anyone for that matter, better get cracking! There's only two years to go! So, Happy Holidays, everyone! 
-Fire Eater Wizard