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December 21, 2014 - Our We Love Satan Apocalypse Xmas Show

As this was the last LE before Christmas, it was our biannual, Easter being the other time, We Love Satan Show. The first couple hours were actually the Armageddon part of the program, and were prerecorded, as the LE crew were at the latest The Last Exit For The Lost Presents Show, where we were trying to end the world with brutal heavy metal at The Haunt. As far as I know we failed again, unless the post Armageddon life is exactly the same as the sucky world we are in now. When the gang arrived the We Love Satan part of the program commenced. Present were, Just Joe, Tim, Randy from "The Metallic Onslaught", Jeremy, and, Olivia and Tim from the band Undead Messengers, which was one of the bands who had performed at the Haunt Azkath said that, although it was a We Love Satan Show, they were going to deny Satan a sacrifice this time. But they were going to summon him. This was the plan... They duct taped Randy to a chair (too bad EVD was absent this night, duct taping people is his specialty, after all). Under the chair was a symbol used to summon Satan. So Satan possessed Randy's body, but was duct taped to the chair, and thus we could have him present for his Show, but he couldn't hurt anyone. Satan was not at all happy that he wasn't going to get a sacrifice, and was stuck in a chair. He insulted LE. Azkath told him that he wanted to know all of the secrets of the universe, or Just Joe would tickle them out of him. Satan was not forthcoming with even one secret of the universe, let alone all of them, so Just Joe started tickling him. Satan was indignant that he, the all powerful Prince Of Darkness, And Lord Of The Underworld, was being tickled. He apparently was ticklish, because he was laughing, for a while... So, I guess we didn't learn any secrets of the universe, but we learned that Satan is ticklish. Perhaps it was too much for Satan to have that secret revealed, because Randy's head exploded, and Satan was gone. There were pieces of Randy all over Just Joe, who had been the nearest to him, of course, and a lot of him in Olivia's hair, and his ears were on the floor, which we can use as souvenirs. Tim, our Tim, not the band's Tim, and Jeremy took the body outside, where Tim was told to take it home with him, Tim was also covered in Randy gore, and the band's Tim was munching on pieces of Randy. Luckily Randy was already a clone, so we can just clone him again, so he will be back, but let that be a lesson, don't tickle Satan while he is possessing someone, unless of course you don't like that someone and don't care if they explode, in which case, you have a way to get rid of them. Just Joe said that he and Our Tim finally agreed on something, that this Show should be celebrating Christmas, and playing Christmas music. So we did what we have done in years past, we let the computer, fate, if you will, decide. It was randomized for a set of songs and, if more satanic songs played, then Satan won, and, if more Christmas songs played, Christmas won. Not even one Christmas song. Azkath told Just Joe he had a deal for him... They would try one more set. If Satan won again, Just Joe would have to throw someone off the balcony. If Christmas won, then he would play at least some of Wham's "Last Christmas", which Just Joe and Our Tim had been asking for. Christmas didn't do much better this time around, only one song, so Christmas was thoroughly trounced this year, maybe because Satan got his blood sacrifice after all. A bit earlier, Azkath told Just Joe to take Olivia away. We no longer have a basement for him to take people to and do whatever it is he does to them there, but we do have a booth. So Azkath told Just Joe to take her there and do whatever he does, because she was being annoying, singing Christmas songs. Now, yes, I know, taking people to a booth doesn't sound nearly as bad or scary as taking them down into a basement, but apparently it is still really scary for the unlucky person Just Joe takes there, because Olivia could be heard screaming, and she came back broken, whimpering for Santa, which was mostly all she would say now. And, her night would get a lot worse, more on that in a second. Back to Just Joe now having to throw someone off the balcony... He chose the band's Tim, which was one reason why Olivia's night would get worse, as they are a couple, and Tim died being thrown off the balcony. But her night was still going to get even worse. Azkath was miffed that Tim had landed on his car, which he had specifically told him not to do, some people are so inconsiderate about where they die! He asked Just Joe why he couldn't have thrown him more to the left?! Just Joe said that Tim could have moved that way. Azkath told Olivia that he had a Christmas present for her, I guess the least he could do for taking her boyfriend away. Although, Tim was munching on Randy, so perhaps he is a zombie, and we may see him again after all, who knows? Azkath's Christmas present for Olivia was... He put on Just Joe's Porn Theme Music, which turns him into Porno Joe. Poor Olivia started screaming again, a lot, things like "GET AWAY FROM ME!", "GET OFF ME!", and, "GET IT OFF!", um, that last one was probably the wrong thing to yell, Olivia! Now, when Just Joe's Porn Music stops, he has no memory of what has just occurred, and so is clueless as to why people are screaming and freaking out. Azkath asked him what he was doing, and what was wrong with Olivia? Just Joe said he had no clue, he must have been helping her with her solitaire. Azkath started up his Porn Music again, and Olivia began screaming again. I guess she didn't like her Christmas present very much, she went back to whimpering, and then left. So, it wasn't a very good night for Olivia. First she had whatever she had done to her by Just Joe in the booth, she got covered in Randy gore, her boyfriend died, and, she got treated to Porno Joe. I wonder which of all of those she thinks is the worst? Losing Tim is probably bad, but I'm willing to bet it was Porno Joe! Jeremy and Just Joe got into a slap fight, which Azkath also got dragged into, only the slap he gave Just Joe was more of a punch. There were segments of Movie Time. And, of course, the program was all filled with music appropriate for the occasion, the first couple hours, The Armageddon part was all songs about the end of the world, serious and comedy, and, most of the rest of the night was music for to and about Satan, again, metal and comedy, with some Christmas music as well, also metal and comedy. Also, Sloth was present, but due to injuries he sustained at the The Last Exit For The Lost Presents Show, he broke his nose and cracked his orbital bone in the pit there, he was resting upstairs and could not participate. Feel better soon, Sloth. There was no Old School Hour in the final hour, so more satanic music, and some Christmas music, could be played as well. And, I would just like to say, that it wasn't a great night for me either, as I was disappointed that I didn't get to hear the Wham Christmas Song, which I joined Just Joe and Tim in wanting to hear, although, that is not my favorite Wham song, those would be, "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go", despite Olivia and the other Tim's nasty comments about that song, maybe I'm not feeling as sorry for them after all as I otherwise might have given all they went through, Tim, in addition to getting killed, also got beaten up, and well, I've already a numerated all the really bad things that happened to Olivia. So, thus went our part Armageddon, part We Love Satan Show. Whatever or whoever you are celebrating or not celebrating in this time, have a great time doing, or not doing that, everyone!!!!!

-Fire Eater Wizard


** Armageddon Part of the Show **
Horus "Mithras"
Mastermind "The End of the World"
Watch Them Die "Armageddon (Bathory Cover)"
Black Cat Attack "End of the World"
Meka Nism "Dance at the End of the World"
The Nefilim "Chaocracy"
Tristania "The Modern End"
Harley Poe "It's Only the End of the World"
Manes "My Journal of the Plague Years"
Psyche Corporation "End of the World"
Neurosis "Threshold"
Crisis "Corpus Apocalypse"
My Dying Bride "Apocalypse Woman"
Will "Kingdom Come"
** We Love Satan Part of the Show **
Babylon Whores "Errata Stigmata"
Mercyful Fate "Burning the Cross"
Oz "Turn the Cross Upside Down"
Coven "Burn the Cross"
Lost Goat "Burn in Hell"
Morbid Angel "Bleed for the Devil"
Nuclear Assault "Stranded in Hell"
HPLHS "Awake Ye Scary Great Old Ones"
Jesse Smith "Christmas with the Zombies"
The Pushrods "XXX-mas Sucks"
King Diamond "No Presents for Christmas"
Hanoi Rocks "Dead by Xmas"
Karyn Crisis' Gospel of the Witches "Mother"
No Mercy "We're Evil"
Satanic Mojo Manifesto
Cryptic Wintermoon "SuperSatan"
Carpathian Forest "Evil Egocentrical Existcialism"
Venom "Black Xmas"
Alice Cooper "Prince of Darkness"
Psychostick "Jingle Bell Metal"
This Will Hurt You "Lookz.A.Lot.Like.Christmaz"
Stephen Lynch "Beelz"
Goat of Hell "In Conspiracy with Satan"
** Satan vs Santa **
HPLHS "The Shoggoth Song"
Penetrated God "Satanic Holocaust"
Skull Crusher "No Boundary for Hell'
Mysteria "Respect for Evil"
Ritual Killer "Scourge of a Satanic Infinity"
Green Jello "Eat Satan's Ham"
D.C. Lacroix "Devil's Son"
Wrath "Hell is Full"
Amped "We Three Kings"
Power "An Evil Presence"
Rorschach Test "Satan"
Dope Stars Inc. "Bang Your Head (Remixed by Reverend Hellbastard)"
Worm Quartet "A Worm Quartet Christmas"
Laibach "Sympathy for the Devil"
HPLHS "Death May Die"
Overkill "Deny the Cross"
Ensoph "Evil Has Found a Servant"
Dayglo Abortions "Fuck Satan to Death"
HPLHS "Mountains of Madness"
Old Man's Child "Soul Possessed"
South Park "Christmas Time in Hell"
HPLHS "Es Y'Golonac"
Death Angel "Devil's Metal"
HPLHS "I'm Dreaming of a Dead City"
Dark Angel "Leave Scars"