- Published in People on the Show
Tim Binder
Tim is a regular on the show when he is in the area. He spends the better portion of the year in L.A. promoting bands, movies, and working in the entertainment industry in general. He has previously worked for Victory Records and Century Media Records and still hosts the Century Media Podcast. Beyond that, Tim LOVES romantic comedies, Glam, and Hard Rock. He despises action movies and Sci-Fi, but for some reason likes traditional slasher type horror movies. He's a bit of a puzzle at times, but is a great addition to the show when he visits!
At the beginning of the program there was a ton of people there. EVD and Dave were there seeming once again to cast doubt on the theory that they are the same person. Tim was there, and he had brought with him his friend Steve again, so it was Steve's second time there. EVD was asked if he had broken Just Joe out of rehab where he had been put to cure his I-dosing addiction. EVD said that he had gone to the rehab, but Just Joe was not there. That mystery was very soon to be solved, because just then arrived Wulfie and his brother BBBIIIIIILLLLL!!! (You have to say the name BBBIIIIILLLL!!! like that, which is why Azkath insisted he now be known as Ed), from The Metallic Onslaught. They had with them a bound and gagged Just Joe. Wulfie arrived with his werewolf mask on, but soon took it off, saying of course he was not a werewolf. Wulfie said he and BBBIIIIILLLLL!!! err, Ed were going to hold Just Joe hostage until Azkath did something about Jeffie. Azkath told Wulfie he thought he had something he would like to put an end to this problem, he would do something he would normally never do, but just for him he would, he would play Bon Jovi, as Jeffie had told him how much Wulfie liked Bon Jovi. Wulfie said Jeffie was a liar. Wulfie demanded that Azkath make Jeffie stupid, even more stupid than he already was, like really, really stupid, so that Jeffie would believe that Wulfie was really a werewolf. They had them un-gag Just Joe (and they ripped duct tape off his whole head, tearing out a lot of hair doing that), and Just Joe said that he thought he could accomplish this, he would I-dose Jeffie to be really stupid. Everyone seemed satisfied with this solution, and they charged Just Joe with that task. Just Joe started freaking out when Wulfie and Azkath started talking about Shoggoths, so Azkath played his Hugging Music to calm him down. Just Joe hugged everyone, and EVD duct taped Just Joe Dave and Shane (more on Shane in a second) together. in all the chaos that ensued there was a big man pile, and Dave did an unspeakable thing to Shane, involving Dave's butt landing on Shane in an area well let's just say that scarred Shane for life, especially when a certain gas issued forth from Dave. Shane had arrived saying that he had finally brought the proof he had been dispatched to obtain several weeks ago. He presented a large file of proof. However, although there was a lot of proof for a lot of things they had not asked him to look into, like The Loch Ness Monster, Chupacabra, Sasquatch, which was all very interesting and fascinating, but it was not what they had asked him to prove. For what they had sent him to prove, that EVD and Dave were the same person, well, on that he had brought nothing. Well, Shane is grown from Just Joe's severed hand, so, how bright could he really be. If Just Joe usually screws up anything he's tasked with how can we really expect much more from his hand. However, Azkath gave Shane another mission to try. To go get stilts, because, in a few weeks, they were going to send Just Joe out on stilts and get people's reactions. Shane said he could get stilts and ran off immediately to do so presumably. It was EVD's 5th anniversary on September 11th, which was the Saturday that ended as this LE began at midnight. Happy Anniversary, EVD! For his anniversary Azkath gave EVD lots of Styrofoam and let him beat on everyone with it. Just Joe took some of the broken Styrofoam and put it down his pants, and then started throwing it at people. There was more slapping this week. Shane was told to slap Just Joe 'til he cried. It only took about two or three to accomplish this. Well, Just Joe had had a pretty trying night, what with being held hostage, having the skin and hair being ripped off his whole head when they un-duct taped him, being traumatized with all the talk of shoggoths, and being beaten down with Styrofoam. Then Shane was told to slap EVD 'til he cried. That took a lot more, and needed several pokes in the eye to get something that could be called a tear. There was three segments of Movie Time, which EVD (who had actually seen something, and, could actually remember what it was), Tim, and Steve participated in as well.
Shane was there for the second week in a row, and he had brought a person with him, a girl. Now last week, Shane had returned after many weeks absence saying that he had finally obtained the proof they had dispatched him to find. However, instead of bringing proof of what they had asked for, that EVD and Dave were really the same person, he had brought back a lot of proof for things like The Loch Ness Monster, Sasquatch, and Chupa Cabra, which, though all very interesting, again was not what he had been asked to do, in other words, he failed miserably. But he had been given another mission to perform. He was told to go forth and return with stilts, which they were going to have Just Joe wear and send him out in a few weeks. So now Shane was back, but not with stilts, he had brought crutches, but no stilts. When asked about this, he said that he did not believe stilts existed. So, Shane brought back proof for a lot of things of which some people doubt the existence of, but for something that the general consensus, shared by everyone, is that it certainly does exist, stilts, well, Shane doesn't believe they exist, probably because he couldn't find them and doesn't want to admit it. So, in other words, he failed miserably again, but, again, what else can you expect from someone who was grown from a severed body part of Just Joe's, his hand. It had been decided that Tim needed an intervention to make him a man, since he loves romantic chick flick movies, and his favorite show is "Dawson's Creek", and he got beaten up there twice this night, once by a girl. Tim didn't think he needed to become a man, saying he already was one, but everyone else insisted he did need it. They forced him to watch "The Retard-o-thon 2", 90 minutes of video clips of crashes, porn, and other stuff guaranteed to make him a man by the time it was finished. And it worked, Tim started talking like a wrestler, and saying he wanted to set stuff on fire, and break stuff, bring on the explosions! When asked what he thought of "Dawson's Creek", he said he hated that show, except for wanting to do the hot chicks on it, and, when he participated in Movie Time, he actually didn't review a romantic chick flick, but more of an action film, and he said the explosions were great. Just Joe was sent to the basement to fetch stuff for Tim to break. He returned with a big sheet of metal, which wasn't very smart on Just Joe's part, but then, what ever is smart for him, because Tim took the metal and hit Just Joe over the head with it repeatedly. Tim also beat on other people like Shane. He also went from being very polite, to rude and obnoxious, interrupting people and talking over them. There was a lot of violent behavior going on. Azkath decided to let Tim do a dead host drill, where he thinks up a scenario where he dies and lets someone else take over running the program to see how they do. Everyone else had done badly except for Dave, which doesn't count because he is the absolutely worst co-host in the world and would never be there if the need arose. Tim was confident he could run the program. Azkath thought of the scenario, he and Tim were dancing (a song had just been played that had turned out to be unexpectedly danceable, which had led to people dancing, which was what brought on that scenario), and Tim had become so violent now that he slammed Azkath into the door frame head first, killing him, and then throwing his lifeless body down the stairs and leaving it there (once again Just Joe protested that Azkath was stealing events from Just Joe's life and claiming they were his, but this was what they were going with anyways). So Tim took over running the program... And did really well, better than anyone else had done so far, playing Lamb Of God, Merciful Fate, and other metal, manly fare. Until... Suddenly Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name" played. Tim said he hadn't meant to play that, and had no idea how that happened, but then went on to say that he kind of liked it, really liked it, in fact. He kept getting more and more into it, losing his tough, manly voice more and more as he went. Then other people started rocking out to the Bon Jovi, 'til everyone was except for Azkath and EVD, who were both appalled and disgusted and dismayed. Azkath said he might have a way to salvage something from this total disaster... He sent out the Bon Jovi to me, to celebrate my 8th anniversary here, which was coming up that Wednesday, September 22nd, since I like Bon Jovi, which I do, I totally am a glam loving, '80's loving poser, and I had been rocking out to the Bon Jovi along with everyone else, except for Azkath and EVD, of course. So thank you very much, Azkath, that was very much appreciated, and, Happy 8th Anniversary to me! Tim, and some other people, wanted to hear the Bon Jovi again, but Azkath and EVD said no way. And just that one song seemed to have totally undone all of Tim's new found manliness for some strange reason. He loved "Dawson's Creek" again, and started raving about some romantic teen movies, one he loved, and one he was psyched to see. They gave up, concluding that perhaps one loud, obnoxious, rude dude, EVD, might be enough anyways. Tim departed, and we actually did hear Bon Jovi one more time this night.! Tim requested the song "Runaway", to listen to while he was driving home, and Azkath, apparently being in a very generous mood, actually granted his request, so we actually got to hear Bon Jovi twice in one night, to my great pleasure. Movie Time was interspersed throughout the night, with several people participating, and there was a segment of Adventures In Listening.