- Published in 2015 Archive
September 20, 2015 - Azkath's Birthday Russian Roulette Show
The day after this LE, September 21st, would be Azkath's Birthday, Happy Birthday, Azkath(!), so this was a Russian Roulette Show, in honor of that, or rather a Spin The Wheel And see what horrible fate awaits you, which Azkath would get to pick. Present were, EVD, Just Joe, Nathan, Tim, Rob, R.J., Eric, James, the band Undead Messengers, and, Taylor, who is Tim's, the Undead Messengers Tim, sister. The results of the wheel spinning were, James had to break a record over R.J.'s head, then R.J. chased him into the bathroom, and, well, what went on in there, was so terrible that James didn't want to talk about it, just kept whimpering, among other things, it involved bad man smells. Tim, Nathan, Just Joe, and R.J., were in The Balloon Room, where people got molested with The Pooh Stick, and, somehow, Darksyde, wearing the same shirt as James was in there, and James was nowhere to be found, which was really bad news for Just Joe, as Darksyde really loves Just Joe a lot, unfortunately for Just Joe, Darksyde's way of expressing love is extremely violent, the more he loves you, the worse the beat down he gives you is. James got tasered by Azkath. Bicoastal Tim got thrown into a pile of mousetraps by Just Joe, which was, I guess, fitting, as, on Tim's Birthday, Just Joe had been tricked, being told he would get to throw Tim into a pile of mousetraps, for Tim's Birthday present, but it was really set up for Tim to throw Just Joe into them for his Birthday present. Undead Messengers Tim got a pie tin bashed over his head by Taylor, and he then fell into the mousetraps as well. Undead Messengers Tim and Olivia were put into The Balloon Room, where Just Joe tormented them with The Pooh Stick, and R.J. came up there to "Help". Olivia got shown Azkath's tentacles, in a closet, and was so traumatized that she whimpered that she was going home to Santa. EVD threw water ballons at R.J.. Somewhere during the night, Nathan got violated with The Pooh Stick, and had Just Joe play My Crotch Your Face with him. There were segments of Movie Time. At 2:00, The Old School Hour, and at 4:00, The Cover Set. And thus went the Spin The Wheel Apocalypse Show.
- Fire Eater Wizard
Tim from Victory Records was there after having been away for several months. The band Missing Marcus was on to be interviewed and to play some of their songs live and acoustic. They're cool. Also there were Mr. Zarumba of Punch Drunk Monkeys, and Dan-O Voodi of Punch Drunk Monkeys and also of the band Others. Mr. Zarumba played a couple of acoustic songs he had recorded as well. Very funny. They were there to promote The Xtreme Soundscapes DVD: Volume 2 Release Show. The big event will be this Saturday, June 4th, at Castaways. The show starts at 7:00. It only costs $5. The 1st 100 people through the door will get The Xtreme Soundscapes DVD: Volume 2 for free. And there will be lots of other free stuff, CD compilations, and all kinds of other cool stuff given away as well. And, of course!, the music! Never The Sunshine starts off the night, and If Man Is Five, Others, Elusive Travel, Divinity Destroyed, and Punch Drunk Monkeys complete with Crappy The Clown! (the Punch Drunk Monkeys and Crappy The Clown concert is a one time only, and, thus, a once in a lifetime event, as the band is broken up, and so that alone is something truly not to be missed!) will all be performing. And Just Joe will have a special roll onstage as well, which, I'm sure, will also be unforgettable and another thing that all by itself is not to be missed. This event also marks the 11th anniversary of The Last Exit For The Lost. So, all of you should be in attendance! Support the independent music scene, hear and see lots of great music and have a blast! All the visitors to LE were asked and gave their silly answers to lots of those crazy questions from 
Present were, EVD, Just Joe, and, Tim. Near the beginning of the program, Nathan called in from Bronie Con, to tell us all about it. Where else would a Bronie be? And, as of the time of his call, he had already spent five hundred dollars there! Talk about a dedicated Bronie, Nathan, you have that much to blow on Bronies and whatever Bronie paraphernalia, which I don't even want to think about(!) you picked up there?! Lets all hit Nathan up for money now, he obviously has a lot of it to spare, and the rest of us are poor! I'd be happy to take some of that off your hands! The money, not whatever it is Bronie related that you spent it on! As a bunch of little technical things kept going wrong on this night, it was decided that there must be a Gremlin problem. And Tim was dispatched to get rid of them. He did this by producing a pan flute from his pants! Apparently he always carries one around with him in there, he said later he thought we all knew that, but it was quite surprising to see him whip his pan flute out of his pants like that! He used the pan flute to, Pied Piper style, lure the Gremlins to him. But then they all started attacking him. Tim was soon overwhelmed, and Just Joe was sent, although he didn't really want to, to go help him out, he had to drag him out of there. But it worked, the Gremlins were now outside, and Tim knew where to put them without even having to be told, because it was so obvious, I mean, where else would you put them?! In Just Joe's car, of course! Everyone was also told to be on the lookout for the last Little Eric, whom we don't think has ever been caught or disposed of yet. In The Cover Set (at 3:30), a heavy cover of Europe's "The Final Count Down" was played. I think Azkath thought that this would upset Just Joe, but Just Joe got all excited, shouting with joy and glee that Azkath had played the song. I don't think it was Azkath's intention to do something that would make Just Joe that happy, but, apparently, Just Joe now hears that song in his mind the way Europe sings it, because, before, he was always upset when anything but the glam (and even I, a huge lover of glam, think that song is horrible, I actually prefer the covers, if I have to hear it at all, but my first choice would be not to hear it at all!) version of that song is played. Azkath played him another cover of it, and that one also made him really happy, he was positively giddy. There were segments of Movie Time. The final hour was The Old School Hour, and it started off with a Connect-A-Set, a set of songs that all have a common link, usually having something to do with them all having a band member in common in some way...
Present were, EVD, Eric, Tim, Nathan, and, Nathan brought a friend with him. Funny, I didn't know he had any friends, that weren't Bronies, that is. This friend was responsible for some of the song "Metal Sex", which Nathan had recorded and brought to us a couple weeks ago, saying it was for EVD, this friend played the guitar on that song. I guess Nathan is not only a Bronie, he is also a masochist Bronie, because, apparently, being thrown onto a barbed wire board last week wasn't enough for him, he said that, this week, he wanted to raise the stakes... So, Russian Roulette was played again... This time, if a bullet played, Nathan would have to sit on a barbed wire board, while Eric gave him a lap dance. And, if a comedy, or weird song played, then EVD would have to be really nice to Nathan, I.E., not insult him, compliment him, for the talk break while he was getting his lap dance. A definite comedy, and weird as well, song played, The Great Luke Ski's "The Chain Saw Juggler", that song fits both definitions. So, everyone went into The Performance Room, where once again, as it had been last week, Auto Tune was on, and the lap dance happened, and EVD being nice to Nathan happened, more on that in a second. Now, the Auto Tune had an unanticipated effect, it corrected everyone's voice to the same pitch, which made everyone sound exactly the same, and nothing like they normally sound, much deeper, so that, unless you were seeing it, you would have no idea who was saying what, well, you could tell which one Nathan was, he was the one doing all of the screaming and moaning (which sounded really weird, given what I've just said about how everyone sounded), wait, that just sounds wrong, especially given that he was receiving a lap dance, from Eric(!), at the time, I'm pretty sure that those were screams and moans of agony, not pleasure, although it is Bronie Nathan, so you never know, and you could tell which one was EVD, because he was the one saying nice things to Nathan, although that mostly consisted of stuff like, "I'm really glad you're having such a good time, Nathan", and, " I'm really glad you're so happy, Nathan", which, for EVD, was I guess about the best he could manage. When everyone was out of that room, and away from the Auto Tune, Tim told us what had happened... Eric started giving Nathan the lap dance, then Tim thought he could do it better, so he joined in for a bit, he was more front to front on Nathan, whereas Eric was more back to front. Then Eric had an injury, and stopped for a bit. And then EVD duct taped (you could hear the duct tape from that room as well, and, since EVD is the one who is always using that, one could guess that he was the one using it on someone) Nathan to the chair, and, once again, like last week, dragged him out onto the porch that way and left him there, but this time, luckily for Nathan, a passerby, wow, that person must have really been perplexed by what they were seeing(!), took pity on him and helped him out, damned do gooders! They always ruin everything!There was going to be a second segment of The World According To Eric, which Eric first said he wanted to do, but then, when it came time for it, he said that he was just no longer feeling it tonight, siting the fact that giving Nathan his lap dance may have had something to do with why he was no longer in the mood for it, that also sounds wrong, "feeling it, and, "in the mood for it", given that it is Eric we are talking about here! It's probably just as well, given who it is that we are giving free reign to say whatever he wants to! Most of the time we have to stop him from talking. However, Eric did give out a few of his massages, which he is now calling Rubbie Dubbies. This week's passing of Rowdy Roddy Piper was talked about, and we musically paid him tribute as well, playing two of his theme songs, and a metal song with his name in the title, "Roddy Piper's Pot Pie". There were segments of Movie Time. At 3:30, The Cover Set. The last hour was The Old School Hour, with the final song of the night being one of Rowdy Roddy Piper's theme songs that I mentioned above...
Present were, EVD, Nathan, Tim, and, The Person Formerly Known As Crappy The Clown, or, as he was calling himself for most of the time this week (Crappy did put in an appearance), Bulk Hogan, in honor of all the trouble that Hulk Hogan is in now, being totally expunged from The WWE because of the release of a tape in which he goes on a racist rant. EVD said he was going to do an experiment on Tim, that he was going to modify his DNA. He said he had installed a button in his head, injected it with a chemical, and that when he pushed it, Tim would now have Turret's Syndrome. He wanted Tim to say lots of mean things to people there and get him in trouble. In that, he failed miserably. He somehow succeeded in making Tim even more nice than he already was, which was already extremely nice. I guess EVD should stick to hair styling. Nathan was in the performance room, and he was singing pop songs, sounding like he was using Auto Tune. EVD went up there and thoroughly duct taped him. Nathan came hopping down, and tried to charge EVD, but the poor young Bronie weighs like ninety pounds, and so it didn't do a thing to EVD, who only wrapped him even more completely in duct tape, and put him out on the porch and left him out there. Later, something was done that hadn't been for quite a while. Russian Roulette was played. EVD was told to pick whether he wanted bullet, or no bullet. First he said no bullet, then changed his mind and went with bullet. If a bullet played, then Azkath, on behalf of EVD, would body slam Nathan on to The Barbed Wire Board. If no bullet, then EVD would have to be really nice to Nathan, not insult him, compliment him, for a whole talk break. Bullet. So Nathan got body slammed on The Barbed Wire Board, and then kicked him while he was impaled on it, and smooshed him onto it further. There was a lot of screaming. But, after that, Nathan did get to play a set of music. 
Just Joe hosted the beginning of the program by himself because everyone else was at a Psyche Corporation Show. After a while, Nathan and Tim arrived to join him. While they were there, it occurred to Just Joe that he could play Europe's "The Final Countdown", Azkath wasn't there to stop him. Tim thought this was a great idea. But, once again, the song would only play for a few notes, before the word "Nope!" was heard, and it stopped. Just Joe tried on different computers, but still that was the only result, Azkath had blocked them all. Then Tim said he would play it from his computer, but the same thing happened there as well! When Azkath got there, he said it was a "The Final Countdown" virus that he had made, how did they like it? Just Joe and Tim had asked people to bring their CD's of it over, and they would play it off each CD. Nobody did. Tim said he would bring his CD with it on next week, Just Joe said he would, too. Good luck with that, guys. If you do that, I'm pretty sure your CD's have an excellent chance of being broken into a lot of pieces, probably on you. Apparently Just Joe broke a microphone while he was running things, which he, Nathan, and, Tim were unable to figure out how to fix. As Azkath had come from a Psyche Corporation Show, the one person band who is Psyche Corporation, Psyche, was now there as well. She updated us on all things Psyche Corporation, and quite a few of her songs were played, both her older material, and brand new tracks as well. It's cool, 
Present were, EVD, Nathan, and Tim rejoined us. Nathan and Tim had never met. It was done in three phases. Phase one, they shook hands. Phase two, Tim told Nathan all about "Dawson's Creek". Phase three, Tim decided he liked Nathan. They seemed to hit it off ok, I'm not sure as well as Tim and Eric, but it was only their first meeting. Nathan got to run the board for a set. As it was July fifth, we had a Fourth Of July Celebration, just a few hours late. EVD put a bunch of firecrackers down Nathan's pants and set them off. Nathan had not consented to this, and he didn't seem to enjoy it much, judging by the agonized screams. What are you, an unpatriotic Communist or something, how could you not love fireworks on America's Birthday!? There were songs sent out to John The Drummer, as it was his Birthday, Happy Birthday, John! There was also a set of music for my Birthday, which had been the previous Wednesday, July 1st, but apparently the computer didn't like my picks, because it died, I killed it. Well, thanks for trying, guys, I appreciate it, sorry I killed your computer! There were segments of Movie Time, and TV programs were discussed as well. The last hour was The old School Hour... 
We had a couple more special guests, voices from the past who had been unable to make it in June, our month long celebration of our Twentieth Anniversary, which had concluded last week. This night, Shoebox, he of his one man comedy band, Worm Quartet, and, Deron Levine, a semi regular co-host from about sixteen years ago, were here. Also present were, Just Joe, Tim, and, Rick, from "The Metallic Onslaught", where Shoebox had been quite a regular co-host for a while. Clips from Best Of CD's were played throughout Shoebox's and Deron's times on LE. Azkath wanted Shoebox to repeat what had happened in one of those clips, and beat up Just Joe. Shoebox was a bit hesitant, as he had been back in the day, when he had been supposed to beat up Zoltan. It is hard to get him to beat up people, for some reason, but he finally went and did it. He had to go into the other room, where Just Joe was in a booth, to do it, and we got to listen, but Just Joe seemed to be pretty much ok. Shoebox's music was played throughout his appearance this night, it is awesome!