The Last Exit For The Lost Apocalyptic Underground Radio

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• Erica
• Ithaska
• Birthday
• A'rebours

EVD was there for most of the night, and Dustin, from the band Thirteen South, was there for about half of it. Tribute to the Past Russian Roulette was played. If no bullet played, Just Joe would get a prize. If a bullet played, no prize for Just Joe. A bullet, Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Think Coming", plus two covers, which also equals a bullet, so no prize for Just Joe. There were three segments of Movie Time, Dustin participated in one of them, and EVD sort of contributed, he talked about a YouTube clip involving Jack Black. There were two segments of Adventures In Listening, and one pseudo Adventures In Listening, where Azkath had some idea of what some of the music might be like, but hadn't listened to it that closely. There was a segment of Anomaly Corner...

-Fire Eater Wizard

There was something new that had never been done before, a Little Gorgar's Corner, Little Gorgar got to play a set of music that was her picks. When Tribute to the Past Russian Roulette was played, if a bullet played, Just Joe would get a preview of what might, and probably would, be in store for him next week, which would be The Hard Core Halloween Show. He would get a preview of one of the contraptions Azkath was working on for the occasion. If no bullet, then no preview. No bullet. So we shall see in next week's recap how The Hardcore Halloween Show went. There was a segment of Adventures In Listening, and, for the second time in not very many weeks, the rule of no matter how much something in that segment might suck, it would be let play all the way through, was broken when something sounding very country played and it was stopped, and a new, slightly revised, rule was instituted, that if a song in that segment does not fit the format of LE, it goes. There were three segments of Movie time, with Ria sort of participating in one of them, only she hadn't really seen much of anything lately. There were two segments of Anomaly Corner...

-Fire Eater Wizard

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• Samhain
• Cult of Saints
• Zadoc and the Nightmare
• Halloween

Recap by The Metal Wulf; (FEW Recap at end of Post) Alright, folks, you'd better all enjoy this one, because it's probably the only recap I'll be writing for The Last Exit For The Lost. So, how did this come about? What circumstances drove me to defect from The Metallic Onslaught for what would end up being only one night? Glad ya asked!

So, there was this sinister force in the universe known as Jeffie. Jeffie was a clone of the Last Exit's host, who we all know as the Demon Azkath.  (Well, more specifically, Jeffie was a clone of Jeff the Radio Guy, who in turn is a clone of Azkath, but hey, no sense in getting overly technical here...) On the last edition of The Metallic Onslaught, which was our Halloween show, Jeffie showed up as Pepe. Now, as the night wore on, Pepe decided I should wear his outfit, throwing his itchy poncho on me, and his sombrero, and also shoved his maracas in my hands. Hey, I did my best to play along, just go with it, try to have fun, yada, yada, yada... But then he had to go and chloroform me... This particular indignity was bad enough, but what came next was too much for this Wulf to take. The Onslaught's host, Joe Wyatt, suggested that Jeffie revive me by doing CPR, not knowing that I was slowly reviving on my own. But, Jeffie went with it anyway, and decided to give me mouth-to-mouth, clearly not knowing that tongue should NEVER be involved with the process. Suffice to say, Jeffie could probably have told you what the contents of my stomach were that night...

So, it was a a hard decision, but in the end I figured that it couldn't possibly be any worse going to Ithaca and joining up with Azkath's crew. As I understood it, Jeffie was never allowed on their show, so I would be free of him, once and for all! Now, I should mention that Rick from the Onslaught was also on hand this night, I think in the hopes of getting me to reconsider my move. But, my mind was made up!

And really, I'd thought I'd picked a good night to make my official debut! This was one of their Tribute To The Past Russian Roulette shows, which features nothing but older music The Russian Roulette portion comes from Azkath playing random selections of music. A "bullet" in this variation is actually in the form of a certain category of song, whether it's something that's been overplayed on mainstream radio, or something really cheesy, or a cover version. Those are a few examples anyway. When a bullet plays, someone gets to pick a little slip of paper out of a bag, and what's written on the paper dictates what comes next. The person who drew the slip chooses somebody ("victim"is a good choice of words, here...) to be the subject of whatever's written on the slip. Example: Shane became the subject of record breaking. Literally, having vinyl record albums broken over his head! Other bullets resulted in a few of the guys being piled into the rest room, which was full (and I do mean FULL!) of balloons, not to mention EVD taking a shot to the head with a DVD player (courtesy of me!). If you're a regular listener, I'm sure you know of what I am speaking! Actually, it was a great deal of fun until a bullet with Jeffie's name on it was drawn... Now, this meant that somebody had to actually call Jeffie to come onto the Last Exit, where he is normally forbidden. I mean, really, of all nights! What the HELL? Azkath suspected this particular bullet has been snuck into the bag by Just Joe. But rules are rules, so, against the wishes of nearly everybody there (except Just Joe), Jeffie arrived. It was a short visit, I must say... I think I may have let out a war cry of sorts, as I picked up my liter size bottle of Mountain Dew, and a sharp fragment of record album that just happened to be within reach. What happened next is probably far too gory for words, as I proceeded to bludgeon and slice Jeffie into a virtually unrecognizable lump of red goo in the hallway. Sloth, no stranger to The Last Exit, summed up part of the carnage, describing my ripping Jeffie in half after grabbing hold of each of his butt cheeks. Now, I really must have been in a blind rage, 'cuz I really don't quite remember that part... Anyhoo, what was left of Jeffie was probably far more shocking than the time I killed and ate all his llamas. Just Joe was highly displeased (okay, more like ENRAGED) at returning to find his friends' remains strewn about the hallway, and I think Azkath was a little put-out with me as well. He even went so far as to say that he wasn't making any more Jeffie's to send to the Onslaught. Now, Rick and I both agreed that the Onslaught would be perfectly fine with that, but Azkath seems to think that without Jeffie, we're only going to end up turning on each other. Actually, this was kind of a non-issue at first, since I'd still planned on staying true to my defection. At least, up until I became the subject of a bullet... Just Joe had drawn this particular slip, which simply said "Porno Joe". He didn't seem familiar with this particular action, but made me the target anyway. Azkath assured Joe that he'd remember soon enough, and began playing some really bad Seventies porn music. Next thing I knew, Joe was stripping his shirt off and giving me a lamp dance, bouncing his hairy monkey-like physique on my knees, rubbing my head. I think unrestrained panic would be a good way to describe my reaction. It took my beating him with a computer keyboard to get him off of me, and I quickly made a run for the door, screaming for Rick to get me out of there! Of course, once it was all over, Just Joe didn't remember a thing and I was emotionally scarred, quite possibly for life. They'd gotten me calmed down sufficiently, but I'd already changed my mind about my decision. I was gettin' out of there and returning to the Onslaught!

Hey, if nothing else, we don't have to worry about that annoying Jeffie anymore!

For about the first half of the night, EVD, Little Gorgar, Adam, and Chad were there. There were three segments of Movie Time, with EVD, Little Gorgar, Adam, and Chad participating in the first one. And there was lots of new music, in fact mostly new music was played, as the week before had been the seven hour Tribute To The Past Show, where only old music is played, so, consequently, no new music then, and then, Azkath had gotten twice as much new music this past week as he usually does, so there was tons and tons of new stuff to be played, and so it was, cool how that works out huh? And several pairs of tickets for a show that was upcoming at The Haunt in the next week were given away, so several happy listeners got great free stuff, a chance to go to a rockin' show...

-Fire Eater Wizard

The band Cult Of Saints was there. They brought three brand new songs with them. Or, maybe two, depending on how you want to count it, as one of them was two songs in one, and was thirteen minutes long. All of their new songs, as well as all six of their older songs, were played. They are cool. They were there for most of the night, 'til about four thirty. They were interviewed, told us about their band, and talked about a lot of topics, and told some interesting stories. Just Joe's 7th anniversary at LE was Tuesday, November 23rd, two days after this LE, so this show was a celebration of that. Happy 7th Anniversary, Just Joe! Just Joe, however, was absent for his Anniversary show, no one knew where he was. But clips from his first time on LE, and of some of his early appearances, were played from Best Of The Last Exit For The Lost CD's. Dave, who actually was there for once, went to go look for Just Joe. He didn't come back, with or without Just Joe. Maybe Just Joe was afraid to be there, afraid of whatever horrible things that might be done to him to celebrate his special day. Or maybe it's the band he's afraid of, since, the only other time they were there, Just Joe was also not. Near the end of the night, Azkath said there was a phone call that he couldn't hear well, and it was mumbled and garbled, but he thought that whoever it was said something about Just Joe, although he couldn't be sure. So perhaps that call had something to do with why Just Joe was absent for his anniversary show, where he was, or, perhaps not. I guess we shall hear next week... The last hour of the program was kind of a Tribute To The Past, all old music, with no talk breaks. And thus went Just Joe's 7th anniversary show, minus Just Joe.

-Fire Eater Wizard

Since Just Joe missed his 7th Anniversary show last week (it was on Tuesday, November 23rd, two days after that LE, and five days before this one), it was celebrated again, much more fully, on this night. Happy 7th Anniversary, Just Joe! Just Joe said he had missed his Anniversary show because someone had ridden their bicycle in front of his car, and when he stopped (because he didn't want to damage his car), they had chloroformed him, and locked him in the trunk of his own car. He could still hear his show from his car stereo, he just couldn't get to it. He said he thought the perpetrator was Kal, a regular in our chat room. EVD was there for the first two or three hours, Little Gorgar and Adam were there for about the same time, and Ria was there for a while in the middle of the program. The clip of Just Joe's first ever appearance on LE was played once again this week, since he was actually there this time, and the one other clip that had been played last week was played again as well, but this week many, many more clips were played, they were played all night long, featuring the highlights of Just Joe's 7 years here. These clips were from Best Of The Last Exit For The Lost CD's. There was lots of Movie Time, as there hadn't been one the week before, so there was two weeks worth of it now, interspersed all throughout the night, with EVD, Little Gorgar, Adam, and, Ria participating in some of them. Just Joe, however, who should have had lots of material for this, being as how he had two weeks worth of movie watching to talk about, said that, while he was certain he had seen lots of movies in that time, he couldn't remember a single one of them to talk about, proving that, while he is not quite as worthless as Dave, he sure isn't worth much!

-Fire Eater Wizard

EVD was there 'til about 4:00. The day that had ended just as this LE had begun at midnight, December 4th, had been EVD's birthday. Happy Birthday, EVD! There were lots of segments of Movie Time throughout the night, and EVD actually had some movies to contribute to it. As Christmas was getting near, Christmas music, Last Exit style, of course, was scattered throughout the night. Just Joe was absent again, for the second time in three weeks. No one knew what had happened to him. They speculated that Kal had him, but he denied any knowledge of his whereabouts. So who knows. Perhaps we would find out next week, if Just Joe manages to return, and remembers whatever happened...

-Fire Eater Wizard

For the third time in four weeks, Just Joe was absent. They blamed Kal, a regular in the chat room, saying he had taken Just Joe's car keys. The Friday before this LE, December 10th, was Kal's birthday, Happy Birthday, Kal. They all sang "Happy Birthday" to him, very badly, as badly as they possibly could, saying he sucked for keeping Just Joe from being there. EVD was there for most of the night, 'til about 4:00, and Little Gorgar, and Adam were there for the first two or three hours. There were a few segments of Movie Time throughout the night, with EVD, Little Gorgar, and, Adam participating in one of them, and there was one segment of Anomaly Corner. And, because we are in the holiday season, there was holiday themed music, the Last Exit way, of course, throughout the night. The last hour and a quarter of the program was a Featured Artist, the band being Morbid Angel, first some bands covering them, and then an hour of their music...

-Fire Eater Wizard